


Contraception Misconception: A Callie and Tom One Shot

by LadyGoodwin



Series: Renascentia [2]
Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Birth Control, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Misunderstandings, POV Third Person, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-03 01:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4081273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyGoodwin/pseuds/LadyGoodwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Is that why you’re not on birth control?”  Tom asked.<br/>Callie stopped what she was doing, as her brain screeched to a halt.  What the fuck?  <br/>“What?”  She asked, looking at him.<br/>“Do you react badly?”  His face was nothing but sympathy and concern.  She could almost see the pity swirling around in his head.  ‘My poor, poor Callie.  It must be so horrible for her…’<br/>She started to answer, but she didn’t know what to say.  Callie thought about the past year that they had been together and whether or not the subject of birth control had come up.  Obviously, it hadn’t.  “W-why do you think I’m not on birth control?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Contraception Misconception: A Callie and Tom One Shot

** Contraception Misconception **

** A Callie and Tom One Shot **

 

Callie and Tom sat on opposite ends of the couch doing their own thing, as they frequently did, having fallen into a nice routine over the past year.  Callie was surfing the internet and she thought Tom was reading a script, until he started speaking.  “So, I was in make up a couple of weeks ago, and the ladies were talking about some pretty personal stuff.  I think they forget I’m there,” he said, wondering aloud.

“They probably see you as one of the girls,” she smiled, still looking at her tablet.

“Likely.  Anyway, one of them was saying she couldn’t take hormonal contraception because she reacted badly to the hormones.  On top of that she tried to get one of those inserts…IOU?” he fumbled for the name.

“IUD?”  She smiled.

“Yes.  IUD, but apparently they couldn’t get it to fit right.”

Callie made a pained expression.  “That must have hurt like a bitch.”

“She said as much.”

“Well, that sucks for her.”  Callie tapped on her screen, to head to another site.

“Is that why you’re not on birth control?”  Tom asked.

Callie stopped what she was doing, as her brain screeched to a halt.  _What the fuck?_  

“What?”  She asked, looking at him.

“Do you react badly?”  His face was nothing but sympathy and concern.  She could almost see the pity swirling around in his head.  ‘My poor, poor Callie.  It must be so horrible for her…’

She started to answer, but she didn’t know what to say.  Callie thought about the past year that they had been together and whether or not the subject of birth control had come up.  Obviously, it hadn’t.  “W-why do you think I’m not on birth control?”  She set her tablet down.

His eyes widened almost comically.  “Wait.  Are you on birth control?”

She smiled.  “Of course I’m on birth control.  I’m a sexually active adult.”

“What-When-I’ve never seen you take anything.”

“I have an IUD.”

“You do?” He almost squeaked, his eyebrows nearly reaching his scalp.  

She was actually surprised he’d never felt it, as well endowed as he is.  Lord knows he’d bumped up against wires enough times.  “Has it never struck you as odd, I almost never have a cycle?”

His eyes looked around the room, trying to assimilate the information he was just given.  Clearly he’s never thought anything about it.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Callie shrugged, “I don’t know.  I guess it should have come up but, I never thought about it.  I didn’t mean to keep it from you.  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.”

“No.  You don't have to apologize.  But, if you have an IUD, why are we still using condoms?”

Callie blinked.  Then blinked a few more times.  _Oh.  I see._ “For protection.  For that .8% failure rate and STD’s.”

His eyes did that comical widening thing again.  “Do you- I mean are you?”

“NO!”

“Well I’m not!”

“OK…”

“So, can we ditch the condoms?”

“I like the condoms.”

“How can you like condoms?”  He was so horrified, you’d think she’d told him she thought Hitler was hot.

She shrugged.  “I like the benefits they offer.”

“But they don’t feel as good.”

“It’s not that big of a difference on my end,” she said, flinching, thinking his head might actually explode from her comment.

He blinked owlishly at her.  “Then why can’t we lose them?”

“For the added protection, plus, it’s less messy.”

Tom looked blankly at her for a moment before she was surprised by him grabbing her feet and quickly tugged her down the couch until she was lying flat.  He then pounced on top of her.  “Less messy?”

She nodded, trying not to grin.

“Less messy.  Sex is supposed to be messy.  Hot, sweaty, slick, wet, sloppy, messiness,” he all but purred, brushing his nose against hers and kissing her softly, sweetly, contradictory to his statement.

“Says the man who doesn’t have to clean up the mess HE made!”  Callie poked him in the chest.  “And you’re pretty fucking messy.”

He grinned proudly.

“That was _not_ a compliment.”

“You’re pretty messy, too.”

“I don’t see you cleaning that mess up either, and you caused it.  Face it, pal, it’s all your fault.”

“Oh, my cruel Callie,” he leaned in and began kissing her neck.  She knew this routine.  Whenever he wanted something, he went straight for kissing her neck.  It almost always worked.  Callie wrapped her arms around him, taking the opportunity to inhale his lovely scent and enjoy his warmth.  

“I’ll clean up the mess.  I promise,” he said, trying to soothe her.

Callie laughed.  “Sure you will.”

He chuckled, “I will,” he said, continuing to kiss her.

“And just how would you do that?”

He licked her earlobe before drawing it into his mouth sucking and nibbling, lightly.  She felt him smile when she made that sound he loved.  “I don’t know.  However you want.”

He was pulling out all his best moves, so Callie thought she’d call his bluff, and try to scare him off at the same time, before she lost the battle altogether.  “OK.  You have to use your tongue.”

His head shot back to look at her, “What?”

“You heard me,” she said, challenging him.

He looked at her for a few long seconds.  “Fuck!”  He growled before kissing her so roughly, that she was pretty sure her lips would be bruised.  Tom pulled back from the kiss,  “I bet we taste so fucking good together,” he said, his voice rough, then kissed her, hard, again.

Callie pushed him back, “Wait a minute.  You would do that?”

“Fuck yes I would.”

“REALLY?”  She was stunned.

He nodded, raw lust in his eyes.

“I was kidding!”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t think you’d actually do it!”

He laughed and it was almost menacing.  “Oh, love.  You should know better than that by now.”

Callie blushed from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.  She should have known better, especially after that time they did that thing at the wax museum…  “OK.  You called my bluff.  I’m not sure **_I’m_** ready for that.”

“I have a new goal, then,” he grinned, pleased with his new evil plan.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Which?”

“Both.  I’ll keep you posted.  But, I still have a valid concern about accidentally getting knocked up.”

He brushed his nose back and forth across hers.  “Yes.  That’s a valid concern.”

“Mmmm,” she agreed.

“Would having our baby be that bad?”

Callie pushed her head back into the couch, with her hands on his chest, to try to get some distance to look at him.

“What the fuck?”

“You’ve not thought about it?”

“What’s gotten into you?  We’ve never discussed anything like this.”

He shrugged one shoulder, “I don’t know.  We've been together a while.  Have you really never thought about it.”  

She knew the expression on his face.  The one that was trying to hide hurt feelings.  She sighed, “Of course I have,” and that was the truth.

He smiled, seeming bolstered by her admission.  “You have to admit.  He or she would be pretty fucking cute.”

Callie couldn’t not smile.  “Yeah, I think so, too.”

He began kissing her neck again.  “I hope they get your luscious, full lips,” he said, moving up to kiss her exactly on those full lips.

“And your blue eyes.”

“Your cute nose,” he kissed her nose.

“And your cheek bones,” she let her fingers gently wander over his face.

“They would have the curliest fucking hair on the planet, though,” he laughed.

“I know!  We’ll be apologizing for that forever.”

“I love you,” he said, and she knew he meant it, and it always took her breath away.

“I love you, too.”

He kissed her tenderly.  “Can we lose the condom?”  He whispered.

“Oh my God!”  She laughed, rolling her eyes.  “I can’t believe you would play that dirty.”

“What?”  He tried to look innocent , and failed miserably.

“Pulling at the maternal heart strings to get what you want.”

“I still can’t believe you think I wouldn’t play dirty to get what I want.  Do I have to remind you about that time on the Air Line gondola lift when we-”

“No.”  She cut him off and turned bright red again.  This dude had no sense of shame.

“Right, then.  Here’s the plan.  I’m going to take you into that bedroom, and have you so desperate for me, you won’t care if I use a condom or not!”  The exclamation point on the end of that pronouncement, was a toe curling, kiss.

Callie momentarily lost her ability to speak, but she thought, _I really need some Tom flavored Kryptonite.  This man is devastating and I have no defense._   “We’ll see.”  She tried to sound brave, but not sure she pulled it off.  The smile on Tom’s face gave her no reassurance she had.

He grinned, “Challenge accepted.”

_Crap._

**Author's Note:**

> I guess these two have other stories to tell. I'll try to keep them all together.


End file.
